If you are 40 or older, you might think this is  hilarious!
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears  with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were  growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every  morning….Uphill.. Barefoot…BOTH ways, yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up,  there was no way I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that  on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it! But now that I’m over the ripe old age of thirty, I  can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today. You’ve got it so easy!  I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don’t  know how good you’ve got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have the  Internet.  If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and  look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!! There was no email!!  We had to actually write  somebody a letter – with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way  across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to  get there!  Stamps were 10 cents! Child Protective Services didn’t care if our parents  beat us.  As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also  had permission to kick our butts ! Nowhere was safe!

There were no MP3’s or Napsters or iTunes!  If  you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and  shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the  radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it  all up!  There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car..  We’d play our favorite tape and “eject” it when finished, and  then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that’s how we  rolled, Baby!  Dig?

We didn’t have fancy crap like Call Waiting!   If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal,  that’s it! There weren’t any freakin’ cell phones either. If  you left the house,  you just didn’t make a call or receive one. You  actually had to be out of touch with your “friends”. OH MY  GOD !!!  Think of the horror… not being in touch with someone 24/7!!!   And then there’s TEXTING.  Yeah, right.  Please!  You  kids have no idea how annoying you are.

And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID either! When the  phone rang, you had no idea who it was!  It could be your  school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, the collection agent… you  just didn’t know!!!  You had to pick it up and take  your chances, mister!

We didn’t have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video  games with high-resolution 3-D graphics!  We had the Atari  2600!  With games like ‘Space Invaders’ and ‘Asteroids’.  Your screen  guy was a little square!  You actually had to use your  imagination!!!  And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one  screen… Forever!  And you could never win.  The game just kept  getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died!  Just like  LIFE!
You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to  find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel  surfing!  You had to get off your butt     and walk over to the TV to change the  channel!!!  NO REMOTES!!!  Oh, no, what’s the world coming  to?!?!  There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only  get cartoons on Saturday Morning.  Do you hear what I’m saying?  We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little  rat-finks!

And we didn’t have microwaves.  If we wanted to  heat something up, we had to use the stove!  Imagine that!

And our parents told us to stay outside and play…  all day long.  Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort.  And  if you came back inside… you were doing chores!

And car seats – oh, please!  Mom threw you in  the back seat and you hung on.  If you were luckily, you got the  “safety arm” across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop  suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for  calling “shot gun” in the first place!

See!  That’s exactly what I’m talking about!  You kids today have got it too easy. You’re spoiled rotten!  You guys wouldn’t have lasted five minutes back in 1970s or any time before!

Regards,

The Over 40 Crowd